So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How external is "for external use only"?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
