i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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