I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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