no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
