to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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