Just fell off a train. Bad.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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