well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
