I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
