Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
