If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
