the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
