If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
