I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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