I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i came on her dog
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
