what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
