Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
