i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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