Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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