I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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