check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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