Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
