ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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