I wish I could punch you in the face.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
