Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My feet surprised me
Randomize
