One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize