Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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