We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
