so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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