Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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