my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
