it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
