White coat. Heels.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize