I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
