fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
