I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize