Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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