oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
