Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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