I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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