your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
