If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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