I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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