How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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