why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
