Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
