I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
