so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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