Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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