so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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