They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
