I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
