it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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