These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
