dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
