Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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(631): View more from New York

Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

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(647): View more from Ontario

Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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(847): View more from Illinois

can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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(925): View more from California

We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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(804): View more from Virginia

Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.

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(212): View more from New York

Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense

(212): View more from New York

The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!

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