a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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