your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
