So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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