I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
