HIV tests are more positive than that guy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
